Melancholy

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frankly speaking... despite the gret new job of mine... this is the word that sets my day... from the break of dawn till night fall.. my oni salvage is sleep ...

Space

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This is wat i yearn for day in day out... be it at home or out.. with or w/o people ard... parents friends men ... its alot more than to just physically leave me alone... how wld it feel to pay to smile.. when wat u pay is ur space.. in life its either this or that... tt sucks

Trust

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Is hard to come by these days.. 2 way traffic it is... u dont trust me and i dont trust u... lets be professional (safe) ... sad thing is... i'm afraid i am being forced to apply this at home too...

Ok ppl here are some distasteful updates

First and foremost... I got my results.. hell no i didnt do well.. ya ok i no.. shit happens.. save all the how comes and how nows..I had three modules. The great grand old taxation; the accounting theory and last but not least our audit! well ... as for accounting theory and audit.. i "passed" as is in just passed... and the cannot-go-wrong open book exam... taxation.. was the fucken shit house paper that i failed... funny how i was more consistent in the revision for my tax than for the other two. And to top it all... i actually did well for the two projects which is a combi of a credit and a distinction.. and summed up to 40% the coursework.. makes me really ponder wat on planet earth happened .. really i was so sure of my self.. that i am beginning to wonder if the answer booklet was jinxed even before it came to me.

how my family reacted... is a mixed thing... generally they are upset ... but not as outrageous as they used to be. Infact, optimistic. I've chosen to take my studies at a more comfy pace although my dad isn't in favour. oh He'll come around. hm..so will other things.. or so i hope.

Nextly next... is a slightly happier one for me.. maybe no so for you guys la.. firstly those who love to hear from me... would miss me to bits.. and those who are working their butts off... wld have their stomachs burning... cos i am gg off to VIETNAM!! 9 day back pack HOLYdayS! I would be a grand gooseberry tagging along with my bro and his wifey whom i love to bits( so i dont really care if i turned out to be a goose berry ya!) :p. so miss me ya'll but don't curse me. & if i love u that much.. once day i'll drag u along with me to travel.. in time to come ya! keerthu, u're in the list already! haha! so i dont care what the krishnamoorthys have to say... but i'm so gona kidnap you.

so on a random note, ok its not random-> actually its the reason i blogged today...

for one... i think i forgot wat it feels like to be in love.. u no that high feeling.. see i can't even describe it... ya its sad.. god bless the guy who gets to be with me in the long run ..( if any). What ever, happened to the affectionate, caring me... i cannot for the life of me feel it anymore. I wonder if its gone for gd.. i feel like a bloody stranger to myself.

I feel fucking torn..within me .. and between my loved ones..i dont mean to be as ignorant or as selfish as i seem to be. I just can't help it. If everybody wants a piece of me. Wats left for me?

just someone, smile and say that i am not being an asshole. please.

Damn i can't rest till i see u

I'm sorry i no i am always a disappointment

I just hope i have the chance to make it up to you

and i cried.. all over again..

i wonder if i can actually feel any punier and worse about myself....

I'm so happy...

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After what seemed like a million years..

for a reason i nvr thought wld ever happen..

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that I could cry...

All thanks 2 u

yes yes .. the word neglect has been hitting on me like a million times by a million creatures...

i admit.. i have been detached from the world out there.. what can i say? i was told that i've been too conusumed with myself. Really but is it true? How else do you expect me to be? the lifeless/heartless/zombified being ? with no social life? with no way in which i can have my laughter and joy? Wind the freaking time back .. remember how i used to be? for all the ways in which i tried to make do, i get this. I dont blame fate. I never did. But how am i supposed to function normally, minus all sources of joy i had. "Be yourself!"; "Soar!"; "Be strong" are the things you people tell me. How? The big bad world out there is not making it any condusive for me to be myself, soar or be strong. It reeks of self interest!! Every single effort is taken and it breaks effortlessly. My well of patience and determination drying out. How do i pick myself up? Is it wrong to move on? Is it wrong to live life according to my age? Is it wrong to seek joy?

It is so sad how you of all people would forget how tough a life you've imposed on me. Always being a source of intimidation upon my smiles and my drive to move on with life. In the name of the "love" you claim to have upon me, leave-me-alone. Stop draining the life out of me and my family. god.

The world has lost its rainbows and colourful flowers thanks to people like you.

Bring me somewhwere... somewhere... where there's none of u...

Life's a bitch!

cos Men hav been Fuckin ard with her..

Over and Over again...

you all function the same ole way...

sickly sick creatures...

Why are we women stuck as such..

cursed... women are cursed...

Men wrote poems of how they suffered..

in the name of love..

there's no such written for men by women..

cos Women suffer in silence..

not for them..

but for love..

why is it always my fault?

my work

my school

my family

my friends

my love life

random ppl

everything

Everybody is so ready to point finger at me?

Did i expect too much?

i guess i did..

Then i shld do away with it...

haiz.. I've had enough...

I shld go on a hiatus..

right

about

now