ok i no its been some time..
Well things are not so dramatic although i had a few occasions.

I realised that guys tend to have really weird ways of getting attention from gals .
On one instance, some random indian guy ( i would say a fair tall 18 or a 19 yr old) was tilting his head looking directly at me.. like "hey there, i am looking at you" kinda look... of cos i did try to look like i was too busy looking out for the station i want to drop off at. Which was looking out of the doorway.. and slowly my mind wandered and thinking of the happy tunes i'd be playing soon.. and dreaming of being a musician someday... and... SWAM! I got sucked back into reality.. that jerk rammed his palm against the door ( which happened to be at the direction of my gaze) to get my attention!!! Like wat the hell!!

And whoever said that gals are the emo beings.
I have to totally disagree. I mean.. i've seen those fickle minded.. those hopeless romantics.. those even shedding tears for a tiff with their friends... Oh come off it! like hello!! snap out of it can? They don't speak up front and deal with things as it is. Emotions rule their conversations!! its annoying .. cos later they claim its not them.. Its rare, to see men being direct and logical at all... but i can't blame them cos the world has become so resistent towards in your face behaviours so much so that it can look moronic. My advice.. be direct and in the face cos its way much easier to handle ... but of cos with moderation, honey coats, etc. whatever u prefer... or just serve is plain and w/o make up if you can dare to handle it that is... :p

I have been into the spree of dressing up lately.. probably an effort to boost my mood for the day... Yes, and life is slowly budging forth but certain somethings and some people are holding me back.. i know i have been really off track lately. I have to set myself straight before school starts. I do not have much time at hand... oh god.. Once the sem starts, my life will be a whirl wind and i wont have the time... the time to laugh.. the time to indulge in emotions.. the time to care and share.. the time to talk things out.. the time to work things out.. the time to catch up with things.. the time let your emotions show.. the time to think about any of these..

I fear how things are gg to turn out.. i smell trouble brewing up.. can't really put my finger to it.. its could be the parents..

speaking of them.. this morning my dad was mumbling something like coming home and eating and sleeping... sounded more like he was refering to me..and when i asked him" yenna pa?" cos i couldnt really catch he was saying... he said .. "no no nothing" hm.. disturbing..

friends... i miss them loads.. i no i might be loosing a few soon..

but! life goes on...

I am at my cross roads again.. my head tells one thing and my heart says another... i no i shld be listening to my head here... but the pressure is too hard to follow the heart... and hence i relent .. and revert.. and relent.. and revert..back and forth on and on ... where the hell is this gg to bring me.. when in e time of my life.. wld this struggle end..

Dear lord, i am loosing the awareness of your presence..
I feel guilty. Cos i no that it is my doing.
I should set myself straight..
And only you can help me..
I cant pull if off on my own
Cos it hurts alot ...

vinaayagneh vinei theerpavaneh..