Warning: Nonsense ahead!

My life is still the same as it has been for the past month. However, what i feel has been some what like a round about. One day i feel so determined to achieve and excel. The following day, i fall into melancholy. And then next day, I feel so down that i could literally fall cos of it. And the day after, I feel that all these is so surreal. And the next day i get sick and angry of the past few days. And the next day i plan to seize the day... and the next day.. and the next day.. and the next day.. day.. by .. day.. by.. day.. bhaz!

Where is this going to go. I feel i have suddenly lost my drive to live. Yet I feel that i should take this chance to live to the fullest and take pride in striving with freedom.

The end is reaching. When its over. That point.

...

This thought.... eats me inside out.


Let's see 25 yrs old and... what is shanti going to be like? Like this? Like that? Oh but what about that? Nah ... then .. this? ah.. well! watever! no.. i cannot say that.. see.. its in my hands.. i should see to it that.. this is e way i want that.. and that shld be done this way... so i should be doing this and this for now.. and in the meanwhile.. i should refrain from this and that.. after which, that and that will come along.. and then i hope that.. that .. will turn out fine..

oh wait a min.. how is that supposed to b fine.. whats fine to you shanti?

and wat was that?

oh.

...